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Lila [userpic]

Abandoned Post

November 9th, 2008 (07:23 pm)
blah

current location: home
how I'm feeling: blah
what I'm listening to: Doctor Who

I kind of quit updating 6 months ago. Lots has happened since then, but of course the oddest thing is the one I can't share. And I got a kitten, who currently just happens to be the love of my boring life these days.

What a cutey...
http://flickr.com/photos/greennlonely/sets/72157605765375895/

Lila [userpic]

The Cedar Room

April 28th, 2008 (06:59 pm)
bored
Tags:

how I'm feeling: bored

Stars leave the morning
Sleep clouds my view
Don't let them come round here
And call to you

I didn't notice
It's a crime too few
I didn't know this,
It's a crime to feel

And I tried to sleep alone
But I couldn't do it
You could be sitting next to me
And I wouldn't know it
If I told you you was wrong
I don't remember saying
I don't remember saying
I don't remember saying

I'll be a shadow
In the cedar room
And leave just a memory
Alone with you

I didn't see that
It's a call too soon
I couldn't see that
It's a call to you

And I tried to sleep alone
But I couldn't do it
You could be sitting next to me
And I wouldn't know it
If I told you you was wrong
I don't remember saying
I don't remember saying
I don't remember saying

Lila [userpic]

CS Lewis on being 30

February 27th, 2008 (12:00 am)
tired
Tags:

how I'm feeling: tired

"Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult."
-- C.S. Lewis

Lila [userpic]

(no subject)

February 26th, 2008 (12:01 am)

It was six weeks ago when I first heard the word "hospice" in reference to my mom. It was a Sunday morning, and my first thought, "What am I going to do? I want her there when I get married. I need to be able to go to her when I have kids!" etc etc etc And I noticed something. All my thoughts were about me. What am I going to do. What about me? It was very selfish of me. And I knew it. And I realized that it's not all about me. So I thought about it for awhile, if my life is not about me, then what is it about? What was my mom living for? And I realized, in her own way, her whole life was pointing to one thing. God. And not just general God. It was so much more specific than that. In her life, she spent it in its entirety to bring glory to a personal God who loved her and wanted her to be with him. And there she is now. As CS Lewis put it, she did not have a soul. She was a soul. She had a body. And that soul, who she is, has left her failing body. I believe this. She has now spent her first few hours in heaven, with God, and with so many people she knew and loved who went before, and she is happy. Because her life, her whole existence on this earth, has led to this one moment, this one time, this one day, and we who are left here should be jealous. She has no more worries, no more hurts, nothing to think about except the one person she lived her life for. And that was not me, it was Jesus. I can't even imagine it. Robert and Chris were over, and we were trying to. In the past four hours she has seen the greatest joy, confirmation of some of her beliefs, and some humility about the wrong ones. But she is up there, and happy. Which means something to me. How I should live my life in the same way. Praising God, and pointing to the time I will meet her again. My life is not about me, it is about so much more.

"Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." --CS Lewis

Lila [userpic]

Asleep

February 25th, 2008 (11:40 pm)
lonely

how I'm feeling: lonely

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
There is a better world...

Bye-bye Mommy. I love you.

Lila [userpic]

all I needed was the truth

January 23rd, 2008 (11:11 am)
pissed off
Tags:

how I'm feeling: pissed off

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Lila [userpic]

You've washed your hands clean of this

October 14th, 2007 (10:59 am)

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Lila [userpic]

My Monster Name

September 30th, 2007 (09:42 pm)
blah
Tags:

how I'm feeling: blah
what I'm listening to: tv


Lethal Ogre Inflamed by Spite


Get Your Monster Name

Lila [userpic]

I've never been the same since I met you...

August 25th, 2007 (11:20 pm)
blah

how I'm feeling: blah
what I'm listening to: "Why Does Love Got to Be So Sad?" -- Derek and the Dominos

Got to find me a way
To take me back to yesterday.
How can I ever hope to forget you?

Won't you show me a place
Where I can hide my lonely face?
I know you're going to break my heart if I let you.

Why does love got to be so sad?
Why does love got to be so sad?
Why does love got to be so sad?
Why does love got to be so sad?

Like a moth to a flame,
Like a song without a name,
I've never been the same since I met you.

Like a bird on the wing,
I've got a brand new song to sing,
I can't keep from singing about you.

Chorus

I'm beginning to see
What a fool you've made of me.
I might have to break the law when I find you.

Stop running away;
I've got a better game to play,
You know I can't go on living without you.

Chorus

Lila [userpic]

Nerd Burger

July 26th, 2007 (11:29 pm)
Tags:

You scored as Hermione Granger. You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out.

</td>

Hermione Granger

80%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Ron Weasley

75%

Remus Lupin

70%

Ginny Weasley

60%

Severus Snape

55%

Sirius Black

50%

Draco Malfoy

45%

Harry Potter

25%

Lord Voldemort

25%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com


Finished Harry Potter on Monday. Cool beans!

Lila [userpic]

Sweet!

July 14th, 2007 (10:11 am)
blah
Tags:

how I'm feeling: blah







Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?




You are Deb and you could drink whole milk if you wanted.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Lila [userpic]

How Long Till Coconuts?

July 10th, 2007 (11:08 pm)
tired
Tags:

how I'm feeling: tired
what I'm listening to: the news

This was so random it made me laugh...

How long till coconuts?

Lila [userpic]

Now, get back on that horse and ride

July 5th, 2007 (11:22 am)
blah
Tags:

how I'm feeling: blah
what I'm listening to: "Turn On Me" -- The Shins

You can fake it for a while,
Bite your tongue and smile,
Like every mother does her ugly child.
But it starts to leaking out,
Like spittle from a cloud,
Amassed resentment pelting ounce and pound.

You're entertaining any doubt,
Because you had to know that I was fond of you,
Fond of Y-O-U,
Though I knew you masked your disdain.
I can see the change was just too hard for us,
Hard for us.
You always had to hold the reigns,
But where I'm headed, you just don't know the way.

So affections fade away,
And do adults just learn to play
The most ridiculous, repulsive games?
On the favored ruddy sons,
And the double-barreled guns,
You better hurry,
Rabbit, run, run, run.
'Cause mincing you is fun,
And there's a lot of hungry hatters in this world
Set on taking over.
But brittle thorny stems
They break before they bend,
And neither one of us is one of them.

And the tears will never mend,
'Cause you had it in for me so long ago.
Boy, I still don't know,
I don't know why and I don't care,
Hardly anymore,
If you'd only seen yourself hating me.
Hating me,
When I'd been so much more than fair.
But then you'd have to lay those feelings bare,
One thing I know still got you scared,
Yeah all that cold ire,
And never once aired on a dare.

You had to know that I was fond of you,
Fond of Y-O-U.
So I took your licks at the time,
And a change like that is just so hard to do,
Hard to do.
Don't let it whip-crack your life,
And I'll bow out from the fight,
Those old pious sisters were right.
The worst part is over,
Now, get back on that horse and ride.

Lila [userpic]

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and Lila is from Neptune

July 1st, 2007 (10:39 pm)
blah
Tags:

how I'm feeling: blah
what I'm listening to: SVU

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

Lila [userpic]

She can read, she's bad

July 1st, 2007 (07:53 pm)
blah
Tags:

how I'm feeling: blah
what I'm listening to: "Obstacle 1" -- Interpol

I wish I could eat the salt off of your lost faded lips
We can cap the old times make playing only logical harm
We can cap the old lines make playing that nothing else will change

But she can read, she can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad
She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad, oh she's bad

But it's different now that I'm poor and aging
I'll never see this face again
You'll go stabbing yourself in the neck

And we can find new ways of living make playing only logical harm
And we can top the old times play making that nothing else will change

But she can read, she can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad
She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad, oh she's bad

It's different now that I'm poor and aging
I'll never see this place again
You'll go stabbing yourself in the neck

But it's different now that I'm poor and aging
I'll never see this place again
You'll go stabbing yourself in the neck

It's in the way that she poses
It's in the things that she puts in my hair
Her stories are boring and stuff
She's always calling my bluff
She puts the, she puts the weights into my little heart
And she gets in my room and she takes it apart
She puts the weights into my little heart
I said she puts the weights into my little heart

She puts the weight, she puts the weight, she puts the weight, she puts the weight,
She puts the weight, she puts the weight, she puts the weight

It's in the way that she walks, her heaven is never enough
She puts the weights in my heart
She puts the, she puts the weights into my little heart

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